The Actions Of My Past
by American Fantasy
Summary: AU.What if Patrick had seen Emily four years prior to their reunion after "32 years" What if Ben had been injured that day in the Charlotte? and how will Patricks past actions impact upon Emily and Ben's lives?
1. The Hospital

**A/N:I haven't abandoned my other story not to worry, I have half of that chapter underway. I have just been meaning to write this for ages!**

**So enjoy =D**

* * *

University of Maryland

Crisp golden leaves blew gently in the warm wind, painting a sea of gold visible outside Emily's sunlit office. She sat studiously behind her desk sorting student papers into a neat methodical order. The silence distilled as her cell phone made loud vibrations on her desk causing her to jump slightly.  
Untroubled by this disturbance Emily reached for her phone; keeping her focus solely on the scattered papers she held in her right hand. She looked down briefly at her caller-ID.  
Private number.

"Hmmm" she murmured

"Emily Appleton"

"Hello Ms Appleton this is Dr Cartwright from the Washington Hospital Centre."

A slight pause filled a gap between their exchange. "Yes, hi what can I do for you?" Emily answered in puzzled manner.

"According to our records we have your son Benjamin Gates here."

Emily's heart dropped and she withdrew her attention from her work, setting the papers aside.

"Ben, what happened? Is he alright?" her voice became flustered.

"He's been in an accident in the Arctic; he was flown over and is having surgery on his left shoulder as we speak, I'm afraid I can't give too much information over the phone."

"Of course, I understand...I'll be right there." She sighed deeply pinching the bridge of her nose as an overwhelming motherly concern washed over her.  
She took deep breath in, standing up and placed the unsorted papers into her cabinet and hurriedly but calmly exited her office.

* * *

She came to a large wooden door with an elaborate gold plate that read 'Dean Edwards.' Knocking lightly she entered.

"Emily he sounded, Intrigued upon her visit.

"I'm sorry I wouldn't ask if this wasn't an emergency, but could you cover my last class today?"

Noticing the pale look upon her face, "Is everything alright Emily?" he asked concerned

"It's my son, he's in the hospital, I have to go." Her voice filled with sadness.

"Ben?...of course go, I'll cover your class."

"Thank you" she gave a weak smile turning to leave.

"Emily." He stopped her at the door. "Keep me updated won't you."

"I will..."

* * *

Shortly after Emily rushed to the hospital she stood pacing the halls waiting as Ben came out of surgery, eager to see him.

"You must be Ms Appleton?" Dr Cartwright approached.

"Emily, please"

"Alright Emily, well your son has made it out of surgery with no complications, his arm was crushed by a lumber beam and dislocated his shoulder but we've managed to put it back in place and fix any nerve damage."Emily nodded apprehensively.

"His arm will be delicate and will need to take precautions for at least six weeks, but after he has regained basic motor control back in his arm, I'm positive he will make a full recovery given time."

She sighed in relief, "thank you" watching through the glass window at her son, being set up by nurses as he lay unconscious strapped to a monitor.

A senior nurse came out through the door as they finished his set up. "You can go in now, he won't be awake for a while, but you can sit with him."

Emily nodded proceeding to enter, but stopped as she touched the door, turning around promptly to the doctor.  
"Do you by chance know what he was doing?"Her eyes filled with sorrow and pain.

Dr Cartwright scratched his head, "Uh, how about we sit down first," Leading Emily with a gesture to a bench a few feet away. "Ben was admitted with a young man, I can't give out his name, but what he told me was that they were exploring in a sunken warship when the beam of wood came collapsing down, not surprisingly, it must have been centuries old, does that sound familiar to you?"

Emily's head dropped, "Yes...yes, that sounds _exactly _like him," Shaking her head.

"I'll let you be, but if you have any concerns I'll be here all night."

Emily gave a half-hearted sigh, "Patrick, what have you done...? And rose to enter Ben's room.  
She had never seen Ben in such a condition before, so helpless, when normally he would be the hero of any situation, never allowing himself to be injured to such an extent. No he was the one who looked after others, not the other way around.  
Her eyes began tearing as she sat beside him on a chair, her hands covering his right and undamaged hand, hanging her head covering his hand on her face. He was her world; she couldn't bear to see another loved one gone, in pursuits of this treasure. Eventually tired from her worries she fell asleep at his side with her head lightly resting on her left arm crossed over on the bed, not wanting to leave her son alone.

* * *

Patrick, who had been informed shortly after Emily, arrived at this point. Looking through the glass window, he could see his son in the hospital bed, an arm cast in a sling, fresh from surgery. It was at this moment he saw Emily for the first time in 28 years. Though physically older than their last encounter, he could still see the beauty in her face, making his heart skip a beat. She looked so fragile, so exhausted; Patrick began to feel the guilt he carried for his own actions in the past, but even more so, now that his only son had reverted to the same mistakes he made. He risked it all for the treasure, his youth, his marriage, his family and now his son. Looking upon Emily holding Ben's hand in hers in support, he could not help but realize where he stood. Emily was the one who was always there for him and where was he? Cavorting off at the first chance he could.

Patrick stopped a nearby attending, Dr Cartwright. "Excuse me, my son Ben Gates" he gestured to the room "I'd like to know how he is doing?"

You must be Patrick Gates I presume."

"Yes."

"He's in a stable condition now, he still hasn't woken up from surgery yet, the anaesthesia mustn't have worn off yet, but he is doing fine. You're welcome to go in." he reached for the door, instantly  
Patrick responded "No...That's alright...he needs his rest...They both do," Looking at them through the glass window.

Dr Cartwright gave as sympathetic pat on the shoulder and carried on. He could not build up the courage to enter. They say wisdom comes with age, and so perhaps Patrick had eventually learnt a thing or two about his past regrets, gazing upon his son and Ex-wife one more time, thinking of what could have been, but never was...


	2. After 28 years

**A/N: Well this was meant to be a one off story but i've decided to expand on it so I might write a few more chapters on it and then leave it there. Let me know what you think :)**

* * *

It was at this point where Patrick was reflecting upon his life and his past predicament that led to his son's hospitalized state that Emily woke up to find Patrick gazing out through the window at her and Ben. Patrick who was somewhat non observant suddenly saw her confused expression staring right at him. Startled and to some extent stunned he slowly turned his back to the window and started to walk solemnly away feeling that it was his cue to leave.

Emily shook her head not believing what she saw and wondering for a brief minute whether she was dreaming but unfortunately she was not and the glimpse of her ex husband reassured that. She stood up smoothing out her skirt and tucked a loose curl behind her ear and slowly made her way to the door frame opening the door with curiosity and clutching it as her suspicions became a reality speaking in a soft voice unsure of the answer that would follow it, after all it had been 28 years.

"Patrick?"

Patrick froze; his worst fear had come true but yet hearing her voice sent chills down his spine, the type that made him remember why he first fell in love with her and slowly the feelings began to come back. Hearing Emily speak his name he realized that he had never stopped loving her. He nervously turned around ever so slowly shoving his hands into his pocket to hide his feelings by digging them in deeper.

"Hello Emily" he said coolly finally facing her for what seemed like the first time in forever.

Emily remained unmoved from the doorway taking a second to recover from her initial shock in seeing the man who had been the love of her life. Though it had been almost three decades since their last encounter she could still pick up on his nervous habits noticing his hands fumbling around inside his jacket pockets and was surprised by just how much she was able to read him by just a simple stare. She ran her hand down her face and gradually down her neck rubbing it anxiously not knowing what to say or whether she would be able to control herself from the anger she still had in her disappointment in him.

"I do hope you know why our son is here" he voice was stern and abrupt.

"I'm a bit short of details right now" Patrick responded calmly.

She swallowed hearing his voice that sent a warm vibe through her; she put aside her momentary blush and thought about her son, her voice changed from sarcasm to seriousness as she calmed down to normal.

"Well I'm sure when Benjamin wakes up he can tell you _all_ about his wonderful treasure hunt that nearly killed him!"

Patrick looked around at the nearby visitors and nurses who looked at them briefly as Emily raised her voice. He grabbed a hold of her elbow and gently took her down a quiet corridor around the corner a few feet from Ben's room.

"Look, I know I haven't exactly been-"

"Been what?" he snapped impatiently.

He sighed; clearly she was still bitter with him, "The greatest example."

She looked to her side and crossed her arms over her chest and looked back at him irritably, "You're his father you should have been!"

He nodded accepting his failure but also defending himself, "I know…but that was years ago Emily and you know it."

"It doesn't change the past though does it?"

"No…and I'm sorry Emily, I never wished for this to happen and If I could take it all back, what I did in the past I would."

She looked at him then looked down at the floor crossing her hand over to her elbow as her left arm fell limp, "But you can't."

"I know…Em I screwed up. I put the treasure above our marriage and our family…" he looked at her wanting her to know what he's been meaning to say to her for years. "I know what it did to you and what it's done to Ben."

Emily paused for a minute taking in what he just said then finally speaking softly and inquisitively, "Then why did you?" her eyes pleaded for answers. "We were happy Patrick."

"We were" he nodded reminiscing about the good times they shared in their earlier years when they dated, when they married and when they had Ben. "Honestly I don't know..." he trailed off, "Maybe it was greed, thinking I could have it all, or wanting to make my family proud."

To some extend she understood having had large expectations from her family herself. "Sometimes you have to let go of what you_ think _you should do, in order to do what you _should_ do and I don't think you understood that."

"Perhaps not…" he shook his head disappointed in himself. "But I love Ben! And I hate to see him like this, especially knowing that he's lying there because of me…" his voice saddened.

Emily could hear the sincerity in his voice and began to feel a little guilty after her rant at him realizing she unleashed the built up emotions she had kept since their divorce. "Well, he didn't exactly get _all_ of his persistence from you" she sighed taking some of the responsibility.

Patrick looked at her in surprise.

"I…I don't want to argue Pat, everything that happened in our past has already happened…So there is no reason why we should fuss over it any further." She nodded agreeing what he had previously implied, "Benjamin is a grow man, he's not a child anymore, he makes his own decisions and mistakes so there's no use in blaming ourselves anymore." She began to walk towards the window staring out at her son and then walking to the door putting her hand on the handle and pausing turning back to Patrick who was likewise staring through the window at Ben.

"Are you coming in?" She asked optimistically. He looked to Emily and then to his son and knew she was right, enough was enough and it was time to forgive and forget and move on, not only for their sake but for their sons.


	3. Changes

**A/N: Yay well here is another chapter for you all. I really like the dynamics of Patrick and Emily's relationship and even more so with their son. So this chapter was really easy and enjoyable to write. Hope you like it :)**

* * *

Ben woke up about two hours later and like good parents Emily and Patrick had not left his side and were what looked to be exhausted from just waiting for Ben to awaken that they had fallen asleep side by side so that Emily while sleeping had nestled her head unknowingly on Patrick shoulder.

Ben blinked several times trying to comprehend what he was seeing wondering whether he was having bizarre hallucinations from the effect of his anaesthesia wearing off.

"Mom, Dad?" He questioned in a raspy voice still groggy from waking up.

Almost immediately they stirred and woke up, Emily realizing she had been leaning on Patrick quickly sat up straight fixing her hair slightly embarrassed that she must have fallen asleep on him and moved over to Ben kissing his head and giving him a one armed hug, "Oh sweetheart! You're awake!"

Ben rubbed his face with his unharmed hand and looked at them confusedly.

Patrick just getting up patted the foot of his bed and once again stuck a hand in his pocket, "Hi son."

Ben turned white and didn't say anything for several moments until finally Emily looked to Patrick worriedly and then to Ben, "Are you alright?"

Ben shook his head snapping back to reality, "Are you two really in this room right now" he gestured at them, "like both of you?"

Patrick hung his head and chuckled a little at this. Emily opened her mouth to say something and then thought about it and closed it again as though trying to find the right words. Sitting down beside Ben's bed again pulling her chair closer to him this time she finally spoke, "I know it has…been a while."

"A while mom?" Ben answered, "The last time you two were in the same room together I was nine."

Emily flicked a loose tendril away from her eye looking uncomfortable.

Patrick stepped up, "What your mother is trying to say is that although it's been several years and although we may have our differences and…disagreements, you're still _our son_ and when we heard you were in the hospital we came straight here."

Emily gave a half smile and nodded agreeing with her ex-husband.

"How are you feeling?" Emily asked in a motherly way of concern.

Ben shrugged, "Alright, I think they've given me a lot of morphine because I can't really feel anything."

"That's good" she nodded pleased that he wasn't in any pain.

The doctor came in the check on Ben pleased that he was awake and began to examine him and check his vitals, after a few minutes when all was done and cleared by him, he left them to it.

Patrick who had spent the better half of the last few minutes staring at the back wall spoke in a serious tone, "Em, can I have a moment alone with Ben please? I have a few things I would like to say to him."

She nodded and slipped out of the room without a fuss letting them have a father and son chat. .

"Dad…" Ben knew where this was leading to.

"Just a minute Ben" he sat down, "Look, I've made a lot of mistakes in my life and failing you and your mother is one of them but I never meant for this to happen and to bring you in to my mess."

He sighed, "Can't you see now where this is all leading to? There is no treasure Ben, believe me I learnt that the hard way…Just look at what's happened and what it's done. I love you son and I don't want to lose you."

"I'm not going anywhere dad-"

"Just listen please," Ben stayed silent.

"What are you doing with your life besides hunting for this treasure? You should be married, having kids, holding a steady job and paying off a mortgage, not hurdling around the country in search of something that's not been proven to exist!" He calmed himself down trying to not get so heated.

"I…I'm just afraid that you're following down the same path as I was on and you know how that ended son," looking out at the window where Emily was pacing nervously.

"My life is filled with regrets and I don't want that to be you. I missed out on a lot of your childhood and I was not the husband and father that I should have been. Part of the reason why Emily and I haven't seen or spoken to each other in 20 odd years is _because _of the treasure…it affected her deeply because I wasn't there to support her and be there when she needed me, when you needed me Ben."

He sighed once more, looking to the ground and then pleadingly into Ben's kind eyes that reassembled Emily eyes so closely. "Just think about what you are doing okay?"

Ben could see how serious his father was being. Patrick had never said that to him before. He rarely even saw his father, but a lot of what he said seemed to answer a lot of questions that were never asked or answered. He simply nodded, "Alright" he whispered.

Patrick sat back up and took in a deep breath, "Good" he said standing up and moving to the door opening it up and walking over to Emily who was still seen pacing by the window which Ben could see facing straight from his bed. He watched as Patrick closed in on her asking her something which he could not make out through the window but saw Emily nod in a polite manner then looked back at Patrick as he walked away down the corridor crossing her arms across her chest looking as though she was doing some deep thinking then breaking off her train of thought looking up at the roof for a moment and then stepping forward and walking into his room again giving Ben a warm smile as they glanced at each other and then sat down and fell silent as though she had a million thoughts running across her mind.

Ben studied her, headstrong, much like himself and reserved but underneath the strong layers for years she had built up, she was fragile and sensitive which was evidently clear today as the past came swimming back in the short time span of that day, it was a lot to handle even for her.

Ben looked at her with guilt, "Mom?"

She took a moment to respond, "Yes?" she said quietly.

"I'm sorry."

She gave him a confused look, "What ever for?"

Ben looked down trying avoiding eye contact, "Don't blame dad for this…It was my choice."

She looked down also, pursing her lips together before she spoke looking back at him, "I don't sweetheart…it is what it is" she shrugged.

Before Ben could say anymore Patrick returned with two steamy coffees in disposable drinking cups and handed one to Emily who seemed startled by his entrance but then politely took it, thanking him faintly.

It was a weird moment that Ben could see that there was no feuding, his parents could actually sit in a room together and be completely amicable to one another. Although his accident had been but a flaw and a setback to finding the templar treasure, he wondered whether it was no particular accident and by chance it had in fact happened for a reason…


	4. The Visitor

**A/N: Just a short update that will be expanded upon next chapter trust me =P**

* * *

Three days later the doctor finally gave Ben the all clear to go home, provided that he takes great care of his arm and so was discharged that afternoon. Like any good parent, Emily had barely left his side and had taken the week of teaching to be with Ben during this difficult period. Helping Ben carefully put his sling back on after he got changed into a pair of clothes that much to his relief wasn't a hospital gown.

"Mom, I'm fine, really I don't have to be looked after."

She smirked, smoothing down the creases in his shirt, "that's not what your doctor said."

He gave her a pleading look, one in which said he would rather forget what happened and move on, than fuss over it, "Really mom…"

"Oh come on, Benjamin" she urged, "Will it really be that terrible if you came to stay with me for a while until you recover? I'm your mother! I'm suppose to take care of you when you can't take care of yourself."

Ben lay a hand on her shoulder and gave her a gentle shake that indicated her need to calm down, "Okay, i'll stay with you" he looked into her soft eyes, " but only for a few days. You don't need to take any more time off work on my account, I know how much you love your teachings."

She smiled at her sons willingness to put her first despite the fact that he was the one in need of it, "I do ,but I also know that I love you more" she kissed him on the cheek and he wrapped his good arm around her shoulder as they began to leave the hospital, regardless of his male pride, Ben thought to himself that perhaps staying with his mother was for the best and if not she wouldn't be alone for once, which he often worried about.

* * *

Later on that evening after the two enjoyed a quiet dinner at home, Emily was about to head upstairs to retrieve a book that she was going to show Ben; another one of her Native American studies when she heard a knock at the door. Puzzled about who would be calling in at that hour she opened the door only to be pulled into a kiss by none other than Patrick, pulling her towards him so that their bodies touched. Emily put her hands on his chest pushing him back and squirmed out of his grasp, looking behind her hoping that Ben hadn't heard or saw them and closed the door quickly but quietly as subtly as one could in this situation.

"Patrick what are you doing here!" she whispered in shock.

"I can't stop thinking about last night " he moved closer to her and she stepped sideways to avoid him, knowing too well where his hands were longing to be.

She rubbed her eyebrow and crossed her arms across her chest, "I know..last night was…well words can't exactly describe what happened" she said more questioningly then began to refocus, "But you have to go, Ben is here!" she whispered loudly at him.

He looked in midair, "Was that today?"

"Yes! Now please, Patrick!" she pushed him away although all she really wanted to do was to leap into his arms.

Emily began to turn towards the door when patrick grabbed her wrist and she turned around again with firery eyes. "Not without a kiss" he held onto her arms now draped by her side and pulled her closer even though she tried to subtly resist.

"Pat, we can't, no, no.." she resisted until his lips met hers and she could no longer suppress her newly ignited feelings for him.

Just as Emily began to relax and kiss him back as passionately as he did to her she heard the front door open and with instant reflexes she pushed herself away from Patrick and brushed her hair back as though nothing had happened when Ben came into view in the doorway looking shocked to see both of his parents there.

"Dad? I thought I heard something outside.." He looked at Emily who tried to hide her blush, and avoiding eye contact with him. " Seriously you didn't have to come for me, mom's taking care of me just fine"

"Ohhh.." he began to play along with it, "Well I have no doubt that she is, but errr.. you're my son of course i'd come see if you were all right." he shifted his eyes to Emily who in much delight sighed in relief, her hand buried her face glad that Ben had not walked in a moment sooner and was still clueless to what was really going on.

Looking at Emily at this point, Ben looked worryingly at her "Mom, are you all right?"

She combed her fingers through her hair and smiled at him with all falseness, "Yes, of course sweetheart, just fine."

"Are you going to come in?" he gestured inside, "We were just about to have a coffee."

Standing to Ben's side Emily shook her head subtly at Patrick with a serious look on her face that quickly changed to a smile as soon as Ben glanced at her.

"That sounds lovely." Patrick accepted and Emily's smile faded.

Ben proceeded to enter inside and Emily reluctantly followed, feeling very nervous about how this night would end. Patrick, deciding to test the boundaries pinched her ass as she walked in and she squirmed turning around swiftly and hit him in a playful manner. As soon as Ben entered the living room she quickly stopped suddenly and spun around addressing Patrick.

"What do you think you are doing?"

"Visiting Ben apparently." he said cooly.

"Oh really…"

"Yeah, we share a son remember? or have you forgotten?" his voice was teasing and she smirked.

"Not at all" she stared into his eyes warmly, "After you Pat." she gestured into the living you.

Patrick stepped forward, "No Em, after you" and planted a delicate kiss on her forehead.

To be continued…


	5. Confessions

**A/N: Here is the second half of the chapter I promised! Oh if only this was real :)

* * *

**

FLASH BACK

It was a crisp night in the fall, where the darkness no longer highlighted the golden leaves that scattered the ground. The full moon was shining above in the night sky peeping just under the clouds arising from above sending a faint glow along the surface of the high rise buildings but brought shadows to the areas untouched.

The American History Society held a conference annually at an opulent hotel, where speakers from all around the state and from all different departments of history spoke about the years newly found research and this year it was to be held in none other than Washington D.C. Emily was due to represent the Native American department being one of the best in her field, if not the best.

She stood with a group of colleagues from her University faculty and remarkably was the only female in the group. She was wearing a modest full length black gown, the soft material gathered and hugged her curves in all the right places, it was one shouldered and drew a large bow at the back of the shoulder that draped mid way down her back. She had attracted quite a few stares from neighboring historians, all of which wanted nothing more than a moment to talk to her, though she doubted any of them had any real interest in what she was saying, but she was polite about it and went along with it.

Unbeknownst to her, Patrick was in the same room looking sharply dressed in a well tailored black suit that had an older look to it but yet never worn. Patrick likewise was standing with a group of colleagues on the other side of the room. He almost choked on his champagne when noticed that his ex wife was standing in the same room as him. Grabbing a nearby program he skimmed through its pages until he saw her name written clearly on it amongst the speakers.

_Of course, I should have known.._ He thought to himself. He tried to forget that she was there but found that every so often his eyes would drift to the direction in which she was standing and tried to subtly hide the stare like every man in the room was giving her. It wasn't until a group people that stood between them blocking the groups began to move did their eyes meet for a moment as no one now separated the two groups from each other. They were both suddenly aware of the presence of each other and although he did not see her surprise to him being there, he could sense that she was now feeling uneasy.

Carrying on with their groups conversations they suddenly became to realize that they were no longer listening to any of it as they both had not been able to get each other off their minds to a point where Emily could no longer stand it and politely excused herself from the group, walking over to the waiter and exchanging her empty champagne glass for a full one.

Patrick waited until he was sure that she was alone before he came up to her. Once she noticed this she looked away, scanning the room seeing if anyone was looking, but knowing that it was not as like anyone would know that they had ever been married before.

"What are you doing here, Patrick?" she said slyly whilst taking a sip from her new champagne glass.

"I still have connections to the historical works," Patrick said cooly, while she looked surprised. "I do the occasional lecture, normally here at Georgetown."

"Yes" she paused, "I think I heard, Ben mention that before," she looked deeply at the bubbles arising from her champagne.

They both paused taking sips and looked around smiling at colleagues and other guests who past by.

"You're on the program," he pulled out the paper from the inside of his jacket pocket with Emily's name printed inside under the Native American section. "Giving a speech are we?"

"Yes, I've been asked to deliver one on behalf of the department."

"Nervous?"

She looked at him surprised as though they were never married and he had never known her, "Never" she replied confidently.

* * *

Later that night their groups began to merge and Patrick began to notice that the man Emily was standing opposite to was staring at her far longer than one ought to.

"I think that one fancy's you." he leant into her whispering into her ear teasingly.

"Who?" suddenly realizing who he was talking about. "He's just a friend, that's all" she whispered back.

"He's got more than friendship on his mind" he mumbled into his glass.

She cocked her head to the side to give him a subtle icy stare.

"Patrick, a moment?" she left the group and began to walk to the outside courtyard.

"Excuse, me" he said to the group and slipped away, following her.

Once they were alone outside she snapped at him, "Do you always try to be so complacent?"

He laughed, "Only around you" he smiled proudly.

She rolled her eyes and walked forwards placing her champagne flute on the ledge, looking out at the night lit view that overlooked the capital, lit up in all its glory then looked back at Patrick who was looking absolutely astonishing, she swallowed trying to slow down her beating heart, her hair flowing smoothly in the light breeze.

"How is it that we manage not see each other for 28 years and then _suddenly_ after Ben's accident, you seem to be everywhere." she looked at him annoyed using the appropriate hand gestures to support her argument.

"I don''t know..." he said casually not giving any serious thought about it, too overwhelmed by his flustering heart which beat faster each time he saw her, this night was no exception.

She smiled and bit her lip shaking it off, "Coincidence I guess."

"Maybe, or perhaps…It was just meant to be?"

She scoffed, "Meant to be, yes like it was _predestined_ or something," she laughed at its absurdity.

"You don't believe in that?"

She took a moment to respond as her smiled faded, "I used to…" her tone was sad and her eyes told a story of hurt and pain. "But one learns to think realistically in situations and go by logic not by chance or by luck, lord knows Benjamin could learn a thing or two about that."

"Then where is the fun in that? Don't you ever just let your hair down?" her eyebrows raised, "Metaphorically speaking I mean, and stop worrying about every little detail and just let things fall into its rightful place...you know, naturally."

"Pfffft" she rolled her eyes, "Why would you even care?"

"You are the mother of my child why wouldn't I?" he answered quickly in response.

"Benjamin, is far from being a child, but continuing down the same path as you he might as well be one."

"I know" he hung his head, "But, Ben is a grown man and I can't fend for his actions anymore, he has a mind of his own that one."

"That's for sure."

"And your stubbornness," he pointed out.

"Well, nothing to deny there" they laughed together then awkwardly looked away avoiding eye contact. It went quiet and Patrick began to notice that she shivered and he took off his blazer and put it around her shoulders.

"Thanks" she said quietly meeting his eyes for a moment then looking away to the view, it reminded Patrick of a night many years ago and he began to laugh.

"What?" she questioned, confused at his laughter.

"Oh nothing…" he said still laughing, "It's just that, this sort of reminds me of that night when we went to New York to watch some broadway show, and It got canceled."

"So went to some restaurant and it started to rain and we got _completely_ soaked…" she finished the sentence joining in on the laughing.

"Yeah and then the waiter spilt the wine all over the table…."

"So we went back to the hotel and…' she suddenly realized what he was getting to by this story and paused for a moment before continuing, "And we went to the rooftop and stood and watched the view and you gave me your jacket because I was cold," Touching his blazer reminiscently.

Patrick finished off the sentence for her, "And although the night was a complete failure…that moment made the night worth it all."

There was a long pause where they said nothing, "What happened to the years?" she sighed.

"I don't know…"

She looked him and without thinking she leant in and kissed him then backed away quickly as soon as she realized she had done it. She gasped, her hands fled to her mouth, her eyes looking bewildered by her spontaneous action.

"I'm sorry!…I"

"Don't be" he kissed her back and she met his back more passionately his hands began to wonder and they stopped short of her ass as he grabbed it, a twinkle in their eyes told them they were both thinking the same thing and he grabbed her hand and exited the courtyard looking around first to see if any one would notice them, and quickly left the conference room to hotel elevator.

Patrick swiped the hotel key in the room that they were quick to book and entered it rapidly, kissing wildly and passionately in the door frame barely making it in and closed the door behind them not before hanging the 'Do Not Disturb sign' on the door knob.

* * *

Later on…

Emily slid out of the sheets she was wrapped in, stepped into her dress and zipped it up in the back. "I have to go…"

Patrick sat in the bed covered by the thin sheet, "I know, your speech"

She nodded putting her earrings back in "Yeah…"

"Wait, Emily" he stopped her at the door, he wanted to say something to her but could not bring himself to say it and so changed the subject, "Ben?"

She looked disappointed, hoping he would say something more, "He um..is getting discharged tomorrow, he doesn't need to know about tonight."

"No of course not...Call me later?"

"Okay," she gave a weak smile looking back at him in the bed and then slipped out of the room.

* * *

END FLASHBACK

She was about to step into the kitchen but stood in her tracks and closed the door firmly but quietly before turning to Patrick, "What are we doing?"

"What do you mean?"

"We're divorced!"

"You didn't have any objections last night.." he toyed with her.

"Not helping Pat…"she gritted between her teeth.

"Well, what do you want me to say, Em?"

"I don't know!" she blew a strand of hair off her face,"Just..don't say anything okay!" she whispered harshly.

"Yes, your majesty!" he saluted sharply and she looked behind her and shot him an evil look.

They entered into the kitchen where Ben was making the coffees with his one arm.

"Benjamin, let me do it" she reached out.

"No, no it's fine mom, I can handle it. "

He handed her a steaming mug and she looked into it perceptively.

An awkward silence fell upon the room as everyone stared into the contents of their drink, unspoken thoughts floating around their minds.

"So Ben how is your arm?" Patrick asked.

"Good actually, I'm starting physio in a few days so I should be on the road to recovery from then on."

"That's good to hear, I hope you mother is treating you well."

"When is she not?" he chuckled, "But seriously, thanks mom."

"It's my pleasure." She ruffled his hair in a motherly fuss, something that she had always done.

After an hour Ben began to yawn, "Hey, I'm getting pretty tired I might go to bed now."

Emily checked the time on her watch and indeed it was getting late, "That's fine, but don't forget just call out if you need anything."

"I will, thank you."

"Goodnight sweetheart," Ben kissed her goodnight on the cheek and she looked at him with adoring love.

"Thanks for coming around dad, It means a lot to me."

"Anytime son," he replied.

Once Ben had gone upstairs Emily and Patrick were left alone in her spacious kitchen. She combed her fingers through her hair and stood up from her seat behind the counter and took the mugs they had been using to the dishwasher which she loaded up and began to put on.

Patrick sat there in silence for a moment, not knowing how to break the ice.

"Em?"

"Yes?" she said in a bored tone whilst she wiped down the surface of the counter.

"Last night?"

"What about it?"

Patrick looked stunned beyond belief that she didn't seem to have a care in the world, "You…me, last night, don't you think that says something?"

She shrugged, "It was a spontaneous dalliance ."

"Oh come on, Em! there was more to it and you know it."

She looked down at the floor and took in a deep breath before answering "I…"

"Look I know this is hard for you, it's hard for me too but after last night," he stopped and sighed looking at her soft eyes, "It is the only thing on my mind, don't tell me you haven't thought about it?"

"Of course I have" she looked away, family photos catching her attention on the wall, "It's just…not the right time, I've been distracted and Ben is here and-"

"He's forty years old, Emily! injured or not I know he can take care of himself, it's something we both have in common, he learnt that from us you know" she shot him that famous scornful look of hers. "Can we just talk for a minute," he continued.

She crossed her arms over her chest, " Fine, you want to talk, go ahead," she gestured,"and ask me why every night I think of you, how for years I've been hoping that when I come home you'll be there and when I wake up you'll be right beside me, okay, so excuse me for not being able to process this as quickly as you have." She retorted, pacing to the window and looking out of it.

"You think I'm processing this quickly, Em? this is driving me insane! I don't know what to do with myself anymore, what to do, what to feel and how to react. Things aren't the same as they were back then and I don't want to follow the same path again. I've grown up now and I know that's not something you are accustomed to because of my past actions. But letting you go back then was the _hardest_ thing I have ever had to do…and I have regretted it everyday since. So if you think I am thinking lightly of this then you're wrong, I've spent my whole life trying to run from what is right and now that it's right in front of me, I'm not going to let it go." He stepped forwards drawing in the gap between them, "I'm not going to let _you_ go Em, not this time."

A single tear fell from her watering eyes down her cheek and she looked at him in a way she never knew was possible and said the three single words that she had been longing to say for many, many years.

"I love you."

A smile formed slowly from the corner of his mouth until he was positively beaming with happiness, "I love you too, and never stopped."


End file.
